News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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