Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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