plz talk dirty to me
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
