i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
