your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
