I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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