So drunk, too bad you don't want this
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
