It's Friday. Sex?
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
