Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize