sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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