Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
