I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
