I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
