that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
