i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
