he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
