Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i dont even know how to be here
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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