Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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