Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
