I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
