Yo dont text me then not text me
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
