Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note

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(817): View more from Texas

just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child

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(845): View more from New York

What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know

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(205): View more from Alabama

Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.

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(425): View more from Washington

But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture

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(402): View more from Nebraska

You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.

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