trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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