We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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