who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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