You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
