Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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