i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
