And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
