my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
