He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
