I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
