i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
