Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
