I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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