She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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