why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I have surprise drugs for everyone
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
