suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize