either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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