she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
