So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
