Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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