Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize