Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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