Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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