I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
