i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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