Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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