You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
