Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
