I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We need a shit load of segways right now
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
