Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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