shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
