He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
