Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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