I want to have your abortion
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
