How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
