I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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