I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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