Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
