yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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